Back-2-Basics: Relationships – Communication Part 2

Communicate from your season: 

Too often in relationship, and more specifically relationship with God, we fail to communicate out of the season we are in. If we are going to communicate this way with God, we must first ask him to show us the season we are in. In doing so, we set ourselves up for participation with Him. This is important, because as is your communication with your spouse, so will be your participation.  Participation, or doing life together, hinges on the way we communicate with each other.

 

Our body Language

As it pertains to communication, the way we approach the individual, determines his or her response. Your body language has just as much to say (or more) about the moment than you may realize. Effective communication in relationship should keep an open posture – (like an open heart – or sensitivity to God) – our approach or the way we carry ourselves as Spiritual sons and Daughters should reveal openness and honesty. We should display Truth through our living.

 

Honesty and truth, have an appearance. As we are affirmed by God in who we are as Spiritual sons and daughters, our whole posture and countenance will change – this brings with it an openness to the things of God that is noticeable to even the unbeliever.

 

Psalm 2:7 – I will proclaim the Lords Decree: He said to me, “You are my son; today I have become your Father.”

As believing Spiritual Sons and Daughters, Kindness should flow out of you naturally (not something that we have to work at)

 

Proverbs 15:1 – A soft (body language) answer turns away wrath, but a harsh (body language) word stirs up anger.

Another area in which this type of communication (body Language) occurs is in our sexuality. How we carry ourselves, the clothes we ware, all play apart in the intentions we are communicating to the opposite sex. Everyone wants to be valued and feel wanting or worthy, and if we are not getting this attention in the areas of life that matter – spiritual, economical, physical, intellectual – then we often take matters into our own hands, striving to prove our worth through performance based living, or communication. This creates a domino effect that exposes the desperate need to be wanted, and causes us to put on a false representation of who we are as gods children – Meaning – you are allowing someone else to define you; and the other person doesn’t even know it.

 

Psalm 1:1-5 – Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand (posture – body language) in the way that sinners (stand) take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

 

Does this mean we cannot dress to impress or flirt?

It would be better for you to dress to inform, (meaning I communicate only what is needed, based out of the real person I am) than dress to impress – (when we try to impress others, we are allowing them to dictate our lives – in a sense, they are defining us). Remember, we are talking about communication, so it’s important that you are not robbed of the truth (about who you are) by allowing Satan to take advantage of your unbelief concerning spiritual identity. The enemy will take advantage of your insecurity – and if you are insecure, it is because you do not know who you are in Him as a son or daughter in that area of life. The real you, is what is in need of affirmation. God will always provide for what you do, what you need and who you need, if you are functioning out of the real you – the spiritual son and daughter he says you are. Let you body language – what you wear, how you act, etc.. be a reflection of who you are “IN HIM.”

 

How do I communicate this way? Submission.

 

Philippians 2:5-7 – In your relationships with one another, have the same mind-set as Christ

Who being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness (tell honey pot) and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death-even death on a cross.

 

Application Questions: 

Looking at your current status as a single man or woman. Ask the Holy Spirit to search you regarding the issue of insecurity; then ask Him 2 things:

1). Is the way I act or dress being motivated by my need to impress someone or lure someone?

2). Am I doing this because I do not know who I am in you?

Remember, if you are trying to impress, it is because you have a deep-seeded insecurity that (inadvertently) serves to allow someone else to define you.

Back-2-Basics: Relationships – Communication Part 1

John 16:13 – And when he the Spirit of Truth comes, he will lead you into all Truth.

Truth is at the core of having solid communication in relationships.  But, the one truth that we all fail to accept is – if we are going to believe the truth that comes from God. We must first accept that we have to learn what the truth looks like. This is because we are accustomed to believing the lie (or expect the lie) than we are the truth – as a result of the deceptive nature we must all battle. This perspective (or lack of) creates a distorted view of the truth, which in turn distorts our ability to live the truth – affecting the way in which we communicate with others.

2 Corinthians 10:5 – We demolish arguments and every pretension (posture) that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

We all like to win the argument, because we were never made by God to be wrong (the deceptive nature, or sin nature distorted our perspective – causing the lie to be more attractive than the truth).

 

This leads us to react or converse from 2 platforms: 

1). We all have interpretive opinions: We create an opinion from our own interpretation of the circumstance, weather we know what we are talking about or not.

2). We are manipulators: We all want people to see things our way, so we will argue our position as right, until we have won the moment.

 

Satan’s goal is to “Steal the Word – or truth” through circumstance. This began with Adam and Eve, and exist in our lives today.

Isaiah 59:14 – So justice is driven back, and righteousness stands at a distance; Truth is fallen in the street, Honesty cannot enter.

Being still helps us to practice not only listen to God, but as well, we learn to be good listeners to others.

James 1:19 – My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Remember that in relationship, “your word is your bond” – Often we are guilty of lying, or making commitments via our words that we fail to keep, and this affects the overall relationship, creating a wedge of dis-trust between us and the person we are in relationship with.  No lie can serve the purposes of God. This is an issue of the heart, as a man or woman’s word is only as good as his character.

***In addressing the grey that has infiltrated Christianity, we must be intentional about responding to God, otherwise we will fear faith, and the areas in which we fear faith, are the areas in which we find the darkest shade of grey – dis-honest living. ***

Proverbs 21:23 – Whoever keeps (hold firmly) his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble

 

Application Exercise:

1). Communication is an essential part of the relationship process. Looking at your relationship with God:

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what Season you are in – write down what he says, and then begin to talk to Father from this place. Remember, knowing your season, helps you communicate effectively with God, which positions you to participate with Him as well.