Discerning Your Time – Week 4 – Where do I stand?

Where do I stand?

Hosea 10:11 – Jehovah’s view of Spiritual and Practical living

Hosea 10:11 Ephraim is a trained (experienced) Calf that loves to thresh

(to separate); so I will put a yoke on her fair neck. I will drive (the force or power behind) Ephraim, Judah must plow, and Jacob must break up the ground.

Ephraim – Fruitful. The experienced ability to Recognizes fruit and separate the fruit from the vine – discerns wheat from chaff. – lie from truth – One who discerns the truth – fruitful in living and attaches him or her-self to what is fruitful.

Judah – Praise. David and Jesus were defendants of the tribe of Judah.

1Samuel 30:6 – (while in exile) David was in great danger because his men were bitter about losing their sons and daughters (during a raid on their camp), and they began to talk of stoning him. David strengthened (encouraged) himself in the Lord.

Encouraging ourselves in the Lord is a lost ART. We would rather have someone else pray for us, then to take advantage of the weapons, and position we have as sons and daughters of God. This is why the hear, respond, obey movement is so valuable, as it establishes a firm foundation that can be built upon. (t-shirt)

Which reality are you choosing to believe?

Because what we see is becoming more turbulent, and the frequency of the appearance of struggle and distress is in front of us, we must decide which side of reality we land on. Gods reality, or what we see?

Change your perspective, and you will change the way you live and respond to your visible reality.

David changed his perspective by encouraging himself in the Lord

How do I encourage myself in the Lord? Do the very thing that builds your ability to hear and believe God. PRAISE & WORSHIP / PRAYER in the SPIRIT.

Jacob – Sup-planter – takes over, over throw, strategy and scheme. May God protect. Listening to Gods Spirit establishes a plan of strategy for living. Being led by Gods spirit enables us to over-throw the fear our natural reality creates, (abundant living) so that God becomes the ruler of our hearts and Minds – especially our minds, which is where our emotional response exist.

Where are you in this conversation?

3 things we must do today!

1). We must discern what is wheat (fruit) and what is chaff (bad yoke, that produces fear, doubt, anxiousness, worry, stress) in our lives; attach ourselves to what produces fruit.

2). We must praise, worship and pray in the Spirit till our belief in God (and what he is able to do) becomes firm and his voice hear-able.

3). We must mix faith in God (God strategy) with our belief, so that we over-throw the fear of our circumstances (or what our eyes see).

Discerning Your Time – Week 3 – What are we not doing?

What are we not doing?

What you hear, will determine what you do – “faith comes by hearing” – the question is, what voice are you choosing to believe?

James 1:23-24 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. (this truth can be attached to every area of our lives in which we are required to believe God) – the application of the truth is what causes a spiritual perspective to become real or tangible.

The status of the Church today is this parable by James. We come into a worship setting, and catch a glimpse of who we are while in Fathers presence, but often walk away forgetting what we look like, or being defined by another identity (past, present, or future). Because faith is established by hearing, we must position ourselves daily to hear God speak to us. If God is the one who gives a measure of faith, then he is the only one who can build upon that measure. He does this through our surrendered obedience. Without obedience, the measure of faith cannot grow, and unless we hear his voice, we cannot obey.

But, the question remains, what are we NOT doing?

1). Not Spending time with Jesus.

2). (We are not) Trusting, believing – we are not Resting in him.

You see, if we are going to remember what we look like, and so change the way we live and respond to God in life, we must SPEND TIME with the very Jesus we love.

Quality over Quantity.

It’s not just time spent with Jesus that matters, but it’s the quality of time spent with him. For example, if I am sitting with my wife, who wants to be with me, but she can tell that I am not engaged in the what she is saying, or that I don’t want to be there, then she will just shut-down and go away. (tell story on balcony in TN) This is not quality time, as it doesn’t allow for real fellowship. This fellowship is needed, because we all have enough noise and chaos in our lives – which keeps us from hearing and believing God.

What does real fellowship with God look like?

Answer: Rest

It is often the case that even in prayer, we are restless and anxious. We are not resting, not being “still” on the inside, even when we pray. In times of turbulent water, rest is so valuable, and unless rest is practiced, we cannot pay attention to the whisper of God that Elijah experienced. Even prayer can be stressful, as it is often tied to what we worry about, what we are anxious about, fearful about etc. this continues perpetuate a lack of trust and belief. (tell story of woman (Theresa) in Guatemala – how I was in my right mind enough to save the creamer)

Spirit-led pray is restful prayer. Let Father set the agenda and talk to us about whatever he wants to talk about. This establishes the potential for faithful living, as it causes us to release the weight or concern of our circumstance, which is burdensome, and allows us to only take on Gods yoke. If we are faithful in this little, (Gods yoke), God will Make us ruler over much. God spoke to me recently when I read this passage and said, Lester, “What you do with the “much” will be determined by what you learned from the little.”

It is through spending quality time with God that we learn to hear and believe God. Unless we believe God and submit our lives to him and his defining, we will set ourselves up for continued deception.

2 Thessalonians 2:9-10 The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie (to make the lie appear to be the truth), and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth (Jesus is truth) and so be saved (our salvation is the restoration of who we are as children and the living example of that restoration).

 

Discerning Your Times – Week 2 – What are we not seeing?

What are we not seeing?

John 12:27 Jesus declared, Now my soul is deeply troubled (struggle). Should I pray, Father save me from this hour? (many of us stop here and do this because we are looking for emotional release and restoration)

No. For this is the very reason I came to this hour! Father bring glory (reveal yourself) to your name. (Jesus looks (sees) past his pain and emotion struggle and sees the plan of God)

Faith enables us to look past the turbulence of circumstance to see and hear Jesus standing and calling us out of the boat (fear, control) and onto the water. This brings glory to Him.

1 Cor. 10:13

No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].

But God said he would not put more on me than I can handle?

The implication in this passage is that you are living IN HIM. Often people struggle with this passage because they find themselves over-taken by temptation or fear, stress and anxiety. But the reality is, we will be overtaken, if we, as saved Christians, are still trying to control our lives. What makes this passage applicable, is the assumption that you are letting go of your life and allowing yourself to be led by God – trust God – and believe who he says you are. We must remember, God has given us power as spiritual children. But, When we are in control, when cannot live out of the power given us by the spirit of sonship. It is impossible to look past the thing that is controlling us (our problems, circumstances, past, present and future). Here’s the sobering truth! You and I only think we are in control, but truth is, we are slaves to the fear (the boat) our circumstances create. So what you see, is what you continue to focus on the most. But what you are not seeing, is who you are in him, which allows you to look (as Jesus did) past the circumstance and declare “Father bring glory to your name.”

John 12:35 – whoever walks in the dark, does not know where he is going. Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of Light.

John 14:15-24 – obedience reveals God

“If you love me, keep my commands.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

Discerning Your Times – Week 1 – What are we not saying?

What are we not saying?

John 12:37 – 50

Verse Focus

42:Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, (what are we not saying with our actions) they were afraid of being put out of the synagogue; 43: for they loved the praise of men (see, hear, in the natural) more than the praise of God.

The hour of vulnerability is upon us. We can no longer live with a mask of religious expectation. Because the church is tied so much to our heritage, it is easy for us to fall into the act of doing church, instead of being the church.

Doing: to perform, to accomplish

Being: live, reality of the soul, spirit and nature or essence of a person.

The language of God is not found, nor established in what we do in Church, but rather our experiences with God in life. John 12:25-26 – those who love their life (maintain control) in this world will lose it. Those who care (lose control of) nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity. Anyone who wants to serve me must follow (the being) me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.

As much as talk is, or, can be cheap, the language of the believer to day must come from our willingness to do life with God. This forms the words we speak and establishes not a religious tone, but a experiential tone that has its origin in vulnerability and truth.

What are we not saying? If the Holy Spirit is charged by God to lead us into all truth, than this leading (if we give up control enough to be led) establishes the very words and language of God (truth) that is needed for declaring or speaking words of discernment that define the time. We must speak, and be willing to speak, by the spirit, the truth that defines the moments in our lives that matter to us – words that flow from doing life with God – our vocation, or economical status, social status, spiritual status, mental status, physical status.

We must be careful. To make statements about the times we live in, that we know are contrary to what God believes concerning the times, or that validate a world view, will keep us spiritually blind to the truth – casting our lot with those who are not Spiritually minded.

Being Spiritually Minded – Part 2 – Eyes

Proverbs 3:7-10
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear (revere) the Lord and turn from evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones Honor the Lord with your wealth (possession, goods, worth–your life) with the first fruits of your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing (there will be no lack).

Eyes

Perspective is everything. The way you view your life, will be the basis for the actions (verbal and physical) of your life. The Lord requires truth in the inward parts; meaning, God desires that the truth find its way into our lives through experience with Him. It’s not enough that we hear the truth, but that we believe. It’s easier for us to believe the lie than to believe the truth, as the lie takes no effort to believe, and it’s easier to come by. The truth however, although heard, will always require something of us (our lives)–truth must be experienced, so that it becomes reality.

Like how our earth orbits (turns around) the sun. The truth orbits our soul trying to find a way in. “David said you desire truth in the inward parts. God wants us to not just hear the truth, but to receive it in the inward part, so that it changes our lives, making it livable. Jesus said, you shall know the truth and (you receiving and believing) the truth will make you free.

ROMANS 12:1-2
Offer your lives as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God– for this is your real act of worship. Do not be conformed to the ways (thinking) of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may know (have proper perspective of Gods plan), what is the good and perfect will of God for my life.

How do I reestablish myself in God’s will? — By Giving Thanks

1 Thessalonians
In all things, give thanks, for this is Gods will for you. Giving thanks sets your mind back on what he has said. It lowers us in humility, so that we no longer take control of our lives through fear and submit ourselves to Him through thanks and acknowledgement of his power in our lives.

Let your Christianity come from your experience with Him. This is
the perspective that has power.

Being Spiritually Minded – Part 1 – Wisdom

Proverbs 3:7-10

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear (revere) the Lord and turn from evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones

Honor the Lord with your wealth (possession, goods, worth – your life) with the first fruits of your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing (there will be no lack).

There are 9 points within Proverbs 3:7-10 that are key to being Spiritually Minded.  

The First is WISE:

Ecclesiastes 2:26 – To the person who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

We know that faith is what pleases our Heavenly Father – as well, faith is what enables us to know that Father is pleased with us. The more we walk with God in faith, the more opportunity we get to gain wisdom through God revealed. Knowledge can be gained by anyone, as it is learned through study and communication – like with all information, knowledge can only take us so far with God. Wisdom is what God reveals to us that knowledge cannot. This is why faith and wisdom are connected. The 2 co-exist together through God revealed. No one can argue God revealed with you, because it gives you insight and wisdom that doctrine, information and knowledge cannot. This is why participating with God in life is so valuable. The value of being a disciple is that you learn by experience (experience through circumstance).  This is why James said that if anyone asks for wisdom, he must believe – otherwise he is tossed like the wind, unstable in all of His or Her ways.

Remember, wisdom comes not from what we know, but who we know in the person of Jesus Christ, and this, can only be achieved through doing life with God. 

Insecurity: The open door to FEAR?

Pray for the soil and fruit.
God’s conversation for us tonight. 

You see, it’s easy to shout, praise and worship in church, as we are in His Presence, around people that believe like we do. This makes us comfortable. But our God wants to talk about what happens to us the moment we walk out of the atmosphere of a church service and back into life, why our victorious shouts give way to or bows to life’s defining… the feeding of our fear and insecurity.

 

Many will walk away not knowing how to do life with Christ. You can be in the presence of anyone and not know who they are. (Tom Cruise) Many know me for what I can do, but not who I am. 

 

Ask yourself: What’s defining you? Which definition of your life will you serve?

Insecurity is: uncertainty, anxiety; lack of confidence, Self-doubt, and inhibition, all of these leave us in the state of being open to danger or threat; having a lack of protection.

Heres what I know: Satan will take advantage of our insecurity. This is because we do not know who we are in life and how to do life with God. Your identity is like a void that Satan fills with circumstance. The real you, your spiritual identity, is in need of affirmation right now and Father wants to chat with us about how insecurity opens the door to FEAR.

 

The Lord said to me one day, Lester often in life, my people pray – “Lord show-up in my circumstance, while God is praying for the real you to show up in your circumstance.”

 

Proverbs 29:25 – the fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

 

The only way we overcome insecurity, is through spirit-led living (obedience). The more we allow ourselves to be led by God’s Spirit, the more we trust Him with our lives; The less we remain uncertain of our identity and our destiny.

 

This is why we need Faith Groups Leaders, as it not only builds relationships with others (which is important in a large ministry), but also teaches us how to be accountable to the Holy Spirit (this is why insecurity exists – we put too much confidence in ourselves, as opposed to submission to God) — We need each other.

 

Insecurity causes:

1). Insecurity causes us to forget who we are –
What’s defining you? Circumstance – identity is the key to successful Christian living and obedience to God is success

Romans 8:14-17 – Those who are led by the spirit of God are called the sons on God. God has not given us a spirit…. Slave to fear…but a spirit of son-ship

Men – I am a Spiritual Son of God
Ladies – I am a spiritual daughter of God

 

John 1:12 – To all who receive Him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

 

2). Insecurity causes un-renewed thinking –
Romans 12:1-3 Paul said, in view of God’s mercy, offer yourselves as a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to God. Do not be conformed to the thinking (ways) of this world, but be transformed in your mind, (how) by doing life with God.

If God is going to change the way we live, He must first change the way we think. This comes by doing life with God. Insecurity cannot exist in the spiritual son or daughter that is doing life with God or doing spirit-led living. This is key, insecurity causes us to imagine things are happening that are not, distorting God’s perspective of our lives. This causes us to be indecisive and inconsistent

2 Corinthians 10:5 – cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against what God knows.

Otherwise, we find ourselves in disillusionment. Disillusionment is the discovery that something is not as good as we thought it was going to be. This is why many believers compromise, and eventually turn from the things of God. Unless we participate with God in life, we are only accepting him for salvation, but have not accepted him in all other areas of our lives. We are saved in order to know God and who we are IN HIM.

 

3). Insecurity gives way to fear –
Fear feeds insecurity in that Fear keeps us enslaved to circumstance. The One Thing no one wants to give up is Control. Fear is designed to keep you in control. (remember the temptation of Jesus)

Control is the very thing Father wants us to lose.

Control produces anxiety and stress, which takes physical years off of our lives, slowly wearing us down, causing our ability to believe God to become muddy.

Phil. 4:6 – Be anxious for nothing. In all things through prayer and supplication and with thanks giving… and the peace of God will guard your

Psalm 139:23 – Search me oh god know my heart…

Anxiousness can lead us down a destructive path, as it conflicts with the plan and timing of God.

 

Galatians 1:10 – Paul says, am I still trying to gain the approval of men, or of God? Am I trying to please man? If I’m still trying to please man, than I cannot be a servant of Christ.

 

4). Insecurity produces Performance based Christianity. 

The Lord said to me in the parking lot of the Millennia Mall, Lester, do you want the applause of men, or my approval?

There is a performance mind-set we all must guard against; because we often view our foundation of Christianity by what we do (but what we have in Him is not by works). What you do can never define who you are in Him. And what you do for God, can never take the place of the identity you gain through Spirit-led living.

If we continue to live a performance based Christian life, we will always Fear faith. If we live out of a spirit of fear, we will never learn to be led by God. If we are not being led, then we will never be defined as spiritual sons and daughters. You may know in your mind that you are God’s child, but knowing and living are two completely different perspectives. Perspective is everything.

We have to consistently Practice Faith. The body of Christ is afraid to practice faith, because we are afraid to fail. We are afraid of being spirituality wrong. The picture we paint, is that we have to have it all together and this feeds our insecurity. But the truth is, many of the spiritual principals we believe must be practiced so they can be perfected. Even God practiced with the prophet Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1, before sending him out to Israel.

 

5). Insecurity causes us to Believe the Lie over the Truth

John 16:13 – when he the spirit of truth comes, he will lead you into all truth.

In life, It’s easier and convenient to believe the lie over the truth, because the lie is easier to come-by and does not cost us anything. This is due to the deceptive nature that wars in us. The lie of our circumstance looks more appealing to us because we can see it (the elephant in the room is we cannot see God, so we struggle to believe the unseen God’s defining of us). To believe the truth though, we must be willing to give up our lives (our natural perspective) in order to agree with God in life, circumstance, past, present and future. The truth is…

***The areas in which we fear faith, are the areas in which we find the darkest shades of Grey.***

God revealed is Key

Exodus 33 – What is distinguishing you?

The very life we have given to Jesus, we take back when we live out of fear. Jesus wants you to give up your life, so that you can Have Life.

He who began the good work in you is faithful to complete it.

Many of us do not understand the Good Work… what is the good work?

Identity:
Your heavenly Father has worked your entire life to convince you of what He already knows about you, that you are a son and daughter of the most High God, and all that is His — is yours!!!

As believers we cannot focus on what were saved from, but what we are being saved into… spiritual identity.

 

Practice:
Three areas of practice.

1). Listening – We must become familiar with Gods voice “in life.”

2). Responding – We must practice responding to God – communicate and talk back to God.

3). Obey – We must take the risk faith requires in order to see God revealed. The only thing that will distinguish you and me in Christianity today is “God Revealed” and this comes through obedience. Guys, it’s through obedience that our love for God becomes a reality.

John 14: if you love me you will obey what I say…

If we are living out of a spirit of fear, then we are being defined by our insecurities and our love is no more than an affection.

 

Like in the movie Rocky… We cannot let Satan put a finger in our face and intimidate us through circumstance, potentially robbing us of our identity. The Lord says – Until you start believing who I say you are, you are never going to really live – you may be breathing, you may be existing, but you are not alive! I have come that you may have life and live it to the full.

 

As a Dad I have reconciled that my girls can be whatever they want, and they can do whatever they want, live like they want… but, the reality is, they have my last name and that comes with great benefit, but also great responsibility.

As sons and daughters of God, we have God’s name etched on our hearts. God is convinced about who you are, you bear his name. There is nothing you can do, or say, that will convince God otherwise. He says you are a son and you are a daughter, and He wants you to live an abundant life… He wants you to see Him revealed in every aspect of your life.

What are you afraid of? – what is defining you?

When you have finished reading this message, you will come toe-to-toe with life, with circumstance. Choose this day which Identity you will believe so you can choose this day whom you will serve!! 

Now it’s your turn to respond to Father – God has spoken to your heart. Now it’s your turn to speak to Him.

Are you unsure of who you are? Do you want to be a son or daughter of God?

Fear

Circumstance is defining you and you want to live as a spiritual son and daughter, but you cannot get past the fear. God wants to assure you today that as sons and daughters, greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!!!!!

Have questions? Want to become a son or daughter of God?

Comment below or email me: singles@faithassembly.org

Back-2-Basics: Relationships – Communication Part 2

Communicate from your season: 

Too often in relationship, and more specifically relationship with God, we fail to communicate out of the season we are in. If we are going to communicate this way with God, we must first ask him to show us the season we are in. In doing so, we set ourselves up for participation with Him. This is important, because as is your communication with your spouse, so will be your participation.  Participation, or doing life together, hinges on the way we communicate with each other.

 

Our body Language

As it pertains to communication, the way we approach the individual, determines his or her response. Your body language has just as much to say (or more) about the moment than you may realize. Effective communication in relationship should keep an open posture – (like an open heart – or sensitivity to God) – our approach or the way we carry ourselves as Spiritual sons and Daughters should reveal openness and honesty. We should display Truth through our living.

 

Honesty and truth, have an appearance. As we are affirmed by God in who we are as Spiritual sons and daughters, our whole posture and countenance will change – this brings with it an openness to the things of God that is noticeable to even the unbeliever.

 

Psalm 2:7 – I will proclaim the Lords Decree: He said to me, “You are my son; today I have become your Father.”

As believing Spiritual Sons and Daughters, Kindness should flow out of you naturally (not something that we have to work at)

 

Proverbs 15:1 – A soft (body language) answer turns away wrath, but a harsh (body language) word stirs up anger.

Another area in which this type of communication (body Language) occurs is in our sexuality. How we carry ourselves, the clothes we ware, all play apart in the intentions we are communicating to the opposite sex. Everyone wants to be valued and feel wanting or worthy, and if we are not getting this attention in the areas of life that matter – spiritual, economical, physical, intellectual – then we often take matters into our own hands, striving to prove our worth through performance based living, or communication. This creates a domino effect that exposes the desperate need to be wanted, and causes us to put on a false representation of who we are as gods children – Meaning – you are allowing someone else to define you; and the other person doesn’t even know it.

 

Psalm 1:1-5 – Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand (posture – body language) in the way that sinners (stand) take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

 

Does this mean we cannot dress to impress or flirt?

It would be better for you to dress to inform, (meaning I communicate only what is needed, based out of the real person I am) than dress to impress – (when we try to impress others, we are allowing them to dictate our lives – in a sense, they are defining us). Remember, we are talking about communication, so it’s important that you are not robbed of the truth (about who you are) by allowing Satan to take advantage of your unbelief concerning spiritual identity. The enemy will take advantage of your insecurity – and if you are insecure, it is because you do not know who you are in Him as a son or daughter in that area of life. The real you, is what is in need of affirmation. God will always provide for what you do, what you need and who you need, if you are functioning out of the real you – the spiritual son and daughter he says you are. Let you body language – what you wear, how you act, etc.. be a reflection of who you are “IN HIM.”

 

How do I communicate this way? Submission.

 

Philippians 2:5-7 – In your relationships with one another, have the same mind-set as Christ

Who being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness (tell honey pot) and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death-even death on a cross.

 

Application Questions: 

Looking at your current status as a single man or woman. Ask the Holy Spirit to search you regarding the issue of insecurity; then ask Him 2 things:

1). Is the way I act or dress being motivated by my need to impress someone or lure someone?

2). Am I doing this because I do not know who I am in you?

Remember, if you are trying to impress, it is because you have a deep-seeded insecurity that (inadvertently) serves to allow someone else to define you.